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I was stumbling on the edge of the desert, searching for a reason to be there. Isn´t this a lovely line? It just sort of plopped out of my subconscious, onto this piece of paper. What a happy happenstance, for this preserves it for posterity. But remember, when you read it, that Ralphie has the copyright on it. If for nothing else, I want to be remembered for this line. Hopefully not for this one only. Where was I? Ah, I was stumbling. I´ve been doing a lot of that, over the years. I was also somewhat confused. Another little something that I´m prone to. All of a sudden, I spotted a lovely purple flower, that reminded me of my Gran. My Gran was not a flower, nor was she purple. I would like to make this clear! For otherwise, you might think that I were a bit weird. The fact of the matter is, that purple used to be my Gran´s favourite colour and she was also very fond of flowers. I sat down, next to this blooming wonder and said hello. Flowers can not speak, or so I have been told, but I fancied that I saw it make a little bow, in my direction, which made me happy. Just then, I found a shadow looming over the both of us. I chanced a peek, in the direction of it´s source and there I saw Yohdi!
I said: "Hello there, Yoyo-man, I´ve been writing about you!"
He answered: "I know, what took you so long?"
"Well, I´m easily distracted by all things fair and foul, but now you´re here, could you fill me in, on the meaning of life and of the universe, please?"
"Just like that, hey, between the soup and the first dish?"
"No! Just between this flower and you and me."
"Just for having said hello to the flower, I´ll tolerate you by my side, but only for a little while."
"Oh, goody, goody!! I´ve been thinking..."
"Please, don´t! The ancients and myself scoured the Earth, to find the thickest specimen of all mankind and who was to find him, but me."
"Maybe so, but I´m not a bad person, am I?"
"No, I don´t suppose you are. That´s your luck or rather the luck of the world in general."
"So, Yoyo, can I be your disciple?"
"First of all, it´s Yohdi and I suppose I could just take a moment, to wean you of some of your misconceptions."
* I had my silly grin on my face, then. *
"Oh please, Ralphie, when you´re with me, try not to look like a complete moron."
"Yes, oh great Yohdi, should I grovel and slither in the dust on the ground, before your magnificence?"
"Sarcasm will get you nowhere, but a little groveling would not be out of place! Right, you want to be my disciple? You see that rock, over there? Go and sit in front of it, pour all your love into it and change it into a flower."
"Only that? Couldn´t you give me something that´s a bit of a challenge?"
*How do I change a rock into a flower???*
I sat down and started pouring and pouring, but the rock just stood there or lay there, whatever. They´re very good at that, are rocks. Fortunately, Yohdi threw me a crust of bread, once in a while and occasionally he even brought me a cup of water. It was very hot there, on the edge of the desert. I said to Yohdi:
"I wish I had something to cover my head, in this heat."
"Well, why don´t you?"
"Wish for it!"
"Because I´m too busy with this rockflower." He picked up a twig and stretched it out and folded it into a parasol.
"How did you do that?"
"Elementary, my dear Ralphie. Concentrate on your edelweiss!"
After several sunstrokes and throwing everything I had in me at this rock, I got so frustrated, that I balled up all my energy and threw it at the rock. And it crumbled! Yohdi was there in a jiffy. He was furious.
"What did that rock ever do to you? Did it willfully and with malicious intent bash you over the head, with itself?
But, didn´t he understand? OK, I hadn´t intended for this to happen, but at least I had produced a result. Yohdi shouted:
"You irresponsable child, you nincompoop! Apologise to that rock immediately and turn it back into what it was before!"
*Turn it back? How? It was kind of distroyed. Oops!*
"But I don´t know how!"
"How difficult can it be?"
He scooped up a handful of rubble and let it DRIP on the floor, where it formed a little pile of pebbles. Then he picked that up, let it trickle through his fingers onto the floor, where it turned into a small rock.
"There, think you can manage that? And apologise first, you twat."
"It would help, if you explained, in detail, the workings behind this miracle."
"What miracle? Anyone can do this! Listen, the createe is the creator. Everything is just a matter of perception. What did the flower do after you said hello to it?"
"It seemed to bow to me."
"Not seemed, it bowed to you. Instead of obliterating that poor rock, had you not considered talking to it. Asking it to change for you? Hunhh??"
"Talking to a rock? What if somebody were to pass by? Wouldn´t that seem kind of cuckoo?"
"I see, so when God was creating the known universe, known to you and me, that is, and his neighbour passed by, he should have left the swirling planets and stars, and offered him a cup of tea, should He? Heaven forbid, someone should think God was doing something cuckoo, like creating!"
"But I´m not God, am I!"
"Aren´t you? Aren´t I? Aren´t we all? You´re the God of your universe and I´m the God of mine, and so on. And there´s more, all these universes are interconnected. Got it, dim-wit? Now help that poor rock!" I scooped up the lot and gently let it pour into the rock it was before. I was astounded! How had I done that?
"It took you long enough! Come and have breakfast." This was cause for some serious thinking. I was munching my lobster thermidor, on the edge of the desert, when yohdi commented:
"When did you intend to change that rock into a flower? Sometime during the next millenium, I hope." I finished my meal in a hurry and went over to the rock. I asked it gently:
"Please Rocky, could you help me? You see that flower, over there? She all alone, with nobody to talk to. And there are plenty of rocks here. Couldn´t you go over there and keep her company, as a flower?" He took a while to ponder this. Rocks see the long perspective, you know. "You can always change back, if you want.", I said. This clinched it and he joined Purply. She was all ajitter. She even blew me a kiss, which made me sneeze, because of the pollen. And I thought flowers didn´t speak! I´ve never heard such a chatterbox in my life. The poor ex-rock seemed to have second thoughts, but he stuck by her. She had been alone for a long time, the poor soul. I had my idiot´s grin on my face, again. Yohdi said: "Don´t look so smug!" At that precise moment, I spotted an eagle, soaring high up in the skies. I asked Yohdi: "Do you think we could pop up and say hello?"
"Lead the way!", said the master. We floated up to meet the eagle. It was not impressed. In fact it was quite vociferous in its protestations. It even tried to peck my eyes out.
"Let´s leave it alone." , said Yohdi, "the poor thing still thinks it´s an eagle."
"What!!?? But...if anything and everyone can..."
"Exactly!", replied Yohdi, If everyone knew that, if only you´re convinced that you can do something,... we´d end up with a right mess! That´s why we have to keep it a secret. We can only give the others the tiniest of nudges, otherwise we´d be royally buggered."
"Rhhumm!! Yohdi? Humm...Master?"
"Oh oh!!! What??"
"So, you don´t think, it would be a good idea to post all this on the internet, do you??"
"You blithering idiot! You maniac!...."
Right, ladies and gentlemen, I have to log off now. I´m due for a right bollocking from master Yohdi.
Let me tell you, it´s not fun at all, being literally turned inside out. I was finally able to convince Yohdi, that it wasn´t a big deal. Noone in his right mind, would believe all this anyway, so he relented. I did manage to create a couple of parallel universes, where everyone was happy and all of us lived in peace. But do you know what, I got bored! It´s always something, isn´t it? When a man has everything he could possibly hope for and has always dreamed of, he gets bored. I do miss the Elfin half-godess I left behind, but I should imagine(I did) that she found someone else.
So I´m back, on my quirky quest for the impossible, or so it would seem, namely to make people care. I asked Yohdi, why it is that I get no response to my plea for love, or practically none. He told me something about the Power of Inertia. He told me that people are like boulders, stranded on the side of a hill. quite happy to lie there. To make one boulder move, you need a lot of energy. But once it starts moving, it gathers impetus and before you know it, it´s zooming along at the speed of light. And the worst thing of the matter is, nobody can really move this boulder, except the boulder itself.
That is where the law of attraction comes into play. If you see a like-minded or like-feeling boulder, you have to woo it, tickle it and entice it to move, with the promise of your everlasting love. And be truthful about it. Not a small thing to do.
You see, if one person spreads his love across the whole planet, it will have an effect, however miniscule. But if a second one joins him, then that love grows exponentially. And if a large group, worldwide, can be enticed to join, that would turn Earth into the equivalent of the Sun, on the love scale. Which would definitely have a measurable effect. Now all we have to do is prove it. But for this ¨spreading all across the globe´-thing, you would all have to practice your visualisation skills. Anyway, I don´t think you could do it, if you tried(hint, hint).