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There is something inside me, what is it?

Posted Dec. 2, 2010 by silvermoon in Open

commented on April 13, 2011
by desertrose



I have searched a way to consult about something happened to me, but I couldn't find it. I hope by sharing my experience here, I will get input from you all. it's quite weird experience.

I have been working far away from my parents, and usually take my leave for holiday to my my parents. But usually 1 (one) day before leaving, there's always something happened to me, those are:

1. I was locked in the toilet of my boss when nobody there. Actually I didn't lock the door, but suddenly the door was closed and I couldn't open it. I tried hard, I cried to call anybody who might can hear me and helped to go out. I tried hard to open the door, but still didn't work. Until I was tired, sad, afraid cause it was almost dark... I didn't do anything, I just looked sharp at the door and asked why... then...some minutes...I tried to open the door, and it's opened without doing any effort !.

2. One day before leaving in other months, I also was locked in my own bathroom. It's lucky cause I could cry for help. A friend tried to open but didn't work, and then she called a man, he could open the door by destroying it first !.

3. Other experience, one night before leaving (again), my mirror on the wall fell without touching at all in my bedroom... I cleaned it up...Then...my glass fell down in the kitchen....I cleaned it up again...after that I went down the stairs, and I fell down and got hurt on my right ankle. It was very hurt, I couldn't walk and I said to myself...whatever happened I would still go for holiday.

I discussed it with my German boss and he said something inside me didn't want me to go home (to my parents). What do you think? Please input for me.

  • desertrose Apr 13, 2011

    I agree with your boss. I have a friend who has similar experiences when she has to deal with her Mum who she really does not get along with. She even broke her foot recently because she had to go on a job interview and was quite anxious about it. In my opinion the energy that you subconsciously are putting out is effecting you in an adverse manner because for one reason or the other you just do not want to do whatever it is you are going to do or go etc... and the Universe is "helping you" by prohibiting you from doing it by any means necessary.

  • frequencytuner Feb 06, 2011

    The people in our lives, the events, the objects - everything - are all symbols, archetypes and allegories. Remember this is a dream. This is an illusion you are constructing to allow yourself to evolve into a higher consciousness and these things mentioned above serve to help you along the way. Of course every symbol can be interpreted in a multitude of ways, it is through introspection that we uncover the meaning WE intended when we created them for ourselves.

    I cannot tell you why or what you are truly seeking inside because that is your treasure to discover. For example, this conversation is relevant to what is going on in my personal life with my wife and her mother right now. I know only that it is your name - silvermoon - symbolic of the divine feminine and the unconscious - that is important for me.

    My wife is undergoing a similar experience as we speak with her mother. Perhaps there are unsettled issues from the past that are lingering beneath the surface of your conscious mind trying to break the surface, like a lotus flower. The time has most likely come for these to be settled. This is a journey you must make inside yourself. Examine your thoughts and feelings as they occur and trace their roots. I like to listen to music and find out which songs I resonate with most. The stronger the feeling, the closer you are. Remember, you will most likely not like what you find and want to avoid it. If this is the case, then you have found what you are looking for.

  • Anonymous Icon

    silvermoon Jan 03, 2011

    I would like to add something, I just backed from my parents for holiday (again), nothing weird happened one day or some hours before I left as above. But,...it changed!, in the middle of the trip, I felt not well... I got sore throat suddenly, so I had my holiday without talking much to my mom, and she was so silent too. This sore throat is with me till now (already backed to my town).

  • Anonymous Icon

    silvermoon Jan 03, 2011

    Happy New Year for all


    Thanks a lot for your meditation for me, I do appreciate it.

    But I still don't understand how to make introspection to my self to undercover those "symbols". The mentality I need is confidence? or what? afraid of myself? Please explain to me in details.

    I am very keen to know more from you. Thanks a lot :)

  • frequencytuner Dec 23, 2010

    The bathroom, The mirror, the glass, your right ankle. I will meditate on this for you silvermoon.

    First - because the initial incident happened in the bathroom which implies to me that this is a very private, personal issue - the mirror represents the self or reflection - obviously shattered it is fragmented - the glass - another sacred object - can represent a number of things from fertility to knowledge but it breaking can symbolize the need to "empty your glass" - the right ankle is a symbol of transcendence and sexuality.

    Before I read any further into this you will need to do some introspection with a clear mind. The mentality you will need is the same one you encountered in the bathroom the first time when you were alone. Do not be afraid. Face yourself.

  • Anonymous Icon

    subtlelife Dec 06, 2010

    Unexpected challenges can initially frighten us, forcing us to redirect and rethink. Whether there is some reason or not doesn't matter as much as what we do, how we respond. I remember getting lost on a remote lake in northern Ontario and the boat motor prop sheared. It took a while to gather my wits and to calm myself, but slowly a survival plan emerged and I got back to 'civilization'. I learned something about myself. I learned that I could cope when truly frightened and in danger. There is something in us or something we tap into that is a source of strength and resilience. You found your way out of the locked room. That probably says more about you than some metaphor about your relationship with your parents. You made a transformation that will radiate greater confidence. There won't be an opening to control you. It won't stick. You've moved past that and others will see it and treat you differently. If they don't, they'll lose an important connection because you'll see those kind of behaviors as a waste of your time and you'll move on. Good luck!

  • Anonymous Icon

    batistinha Dec 06, 2010

    Maybe some kind of alert! Some sort of mind-matter interaction as " It wasn´t supposed to be on the way that day , either by car or flying " . Would an accident potencially could occur? And being locked in could have avoided such event.

  • cameronjcw Dec 02, 2010

    Am glad you have the answer you need, there's no shame in wanting to be independant. Some parents like to control their kids no matter what age they are, some people just like to control others. I think it comes from their own fears and lack of control in themselves.

    My own Mother has been pretty crap to me a lot in my life and I think when she couldn't control me she shifted that to trying to hurt me and make me feel guilty for no reason. Luckily Ive always been a bit of an uncontrollable person most of my life lol I think most people thought when I was a teenager it was just teenage rebellion but nah just me am still the same and now I'm 34 and a bit of a law unto myself and I don't really care what people think of me most of the time. I just like doing things my way although I can work with other people but it is hard sometimes because I can be very stubborn although as Ive got older I can be flexible if I think its beneficial to whatever I'm doing.

    Sometimes with some people we have to get away from them to have our own space to think and grow, its very hard to do that with controlling people around you, and can cloud your ability to judge things for yourself! Wish you all the best, just trust your instincts and do what is best for you, there's nothing wrong with that and even if sometimes it upsets other people unfortunately that's just part of life but its more of a reflection on the person who's getting upset than yourself, you cant base your whole life around trying to make other people happy, especially if it makes you miserable and stops you from moving on and evolving in your own life and skin!

  • Anonymous Icon

    silvermoon Dec 02, 2010

    Thank you very much indeed for your very valuable inputs, now I realise that from my deep feeling...inside me...I feel that I am not really keen to go to my parents for my holiday, those were just routine activities that I should do (due to my culture). I have been working far away from my parents because I like being away from them since the first time I got a job. They are too control me (parent oriented), even when I am as adult, they still like to control my life.

    Thanks a lot again...now I know what I will do .... :)

  • cameronjcw Dec 02, 2010

    I think sometimes we can get messages that tell us we aren't supposed to go somewhere or do something. A couple of years ago I was going to a music festival with my daughter and first the ticket I bought turned out to be from a dodgy ticket site and I never got the ticket, took me a few months to get the money back through my bank but I got another ticket, then I couldn't get time off work so I stayed off work and said I was sick and went anyway, then on the way there I had a terrible migraine on the bus on the way down and when we got there the place had been flooded and was really really muddy, not like thin slippy water mud but thick mud that was really very hard to walk in so we couldn't get to the campsite we were intending to go to because it was right round the other end and I couldn't manage any further so we camped at the first spot we could, we stayed the first night then for a few hours the following day and we ended up we gave up and left that night, it was the first night the festival actually started so we were leaving as the bands we wanted to see were playing. Really could have cried when we were leaving it was kinda demoralizing and made me feel really down. We got into a cheap hotel and stayed there then went home on the bus the following day by the time we got home I had a huge boil on the inside of my thigh and it was really painful and I was really unwell. I think there were some messages there telling me not to go and I ignored them and went ahead anyway and it was still a total disaster.

    Have had similar things happen in other areas of my life and then other times Ive been stuck in places that I wish I hadn't or in situations I wish I hadn't.

    I think we are wherever we are for a reason many times even if we think we shouldn't or don't want t be there and then at other times we get messages not to go to places we want to.

    Is there some reason why you wouldn't have wanted to go back to your parents house? I think sometimes we get messages or clues as to what we should or shouldn't be doing with out lives.

  • Anonymous Icon

    GnosticGemini Dec 02, 2010

    I agree that (one possibility) is that for some reason you are being directed not to go to your parents! But my suggestion is to try and think of how you are (symbolically) being locked in may have meaning in other parts of your life. Maybe being focused on preparing for the trip you are receptive to the symbol of being locked in and thats when it appears in your life. Meditate on that to see if anything surfaces that sounds right. It seems that you are being told something, and this is the way its being communicated to you.

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