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Establishing connections with other people, how to avoid problems?

Posted Oct. 29, 2010 by Inquisitivegirl in Open

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commented on Dec. 20, 2010
by workinprogress



In relating to other people on a deeper level and respecting them for their individual "spirit" while also seeing them as part of the bigger whole..in terms of us all being connected, how do you avoid sexual tension/energy etc from interfering with that connection? How can you relate to other people on a day to day basis and avoid that, or at least prevent it from interfering in your relationship with them? One can accept it, but not focus on it and move beyond it but what if the other person can't? What if this is such a common problem it prevents you from relating to people at any point beyond small talk?

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    workinprogress Dec 20, 2010

    Sounds like you are a fairly attractive person who stimulates the natural procreation response in the opposite sex. Are you asking if this is a normal response ? it most likely is and will interfere with the type of communication you are attempting with these others. Don't be alarmed or discouraged, there will be others who although they way they respond to their environment is still strongly tied to that natural response will be able to rise above it in order to open themselves to what you are trying to communicate without that prejudice. I ascribe to the "When Harry Met Sally Theory" just assume that everyone of the opposite sex is interested in a sexual relationship with you, and some of the same sex as well, not because any of us is extrordinary, just becuse we are breathing feeling human beings, when you approach those relationships with this belief fully formed you can move past it fairly quickly and it becomes less of a hinderance to a deeper understanding.

  • LaLa1 Nov 27, 2010

    Aloha Cameron ~

    I was reading your post and you mentioned energy vampires. They do exist! From what you say your energy levels are low and there could be many energetic components that may be beneficial to look at.

    From my understanding of how the body/mind/field and the unseen realm works, you may want to have the energy worker of your choice check the following in your system:

    make sure all 4 pranic centers are open and receiving prana
    check the star chakra to see if it is open and receiving chi from Mother Earth
    check all your etheric meridians, meridian endpoints and nadis for proper functioning and make sure none of them are severed or blocked
    check your fire vitality system for function
    check your central channel for blockages - it may be worn and need replacing
    check all your chakras for function, blockages, damage and spin
    check your overall field for energy leaks
    check the base of your neck and spine to see if any energy drains have been installed
    then evacuate all unseen entities and energy vampires that are actually in your field or outside of it
    check for any tielines or tubes connecting you to another physical person on this plane that is pulling energy from you

    Please forgive me if I have overstepped in suggesting these things. Sometimes it is not about what we can fix in the body that solves dys-function, but all about what is in the field around us:)

    Many blessings to you in this lifetime and beyond,

  • LaLa1 Nov 27, 2010

    Aloha Neon ~

    I read one of your posts describing an entity that was with you and a potential partner. It seemed that this entity was there specifically to serve that relationship.

    In my work and understanding, there are entities established in all relationships called, logically, relationship entities. They generally hold the energy of the 2 people and, depending on the energies of the 2 people, can act out in a beneficial way or not so beneficial way. Sometimes this entity can effect much discord in a relationship and may have to be decoded and dissolved. These entities do not have a living light center like we do, and although, they can express as a consciousness, do not evolve or incarnate. They are simply made up of differing energies.

    There can also be group entities and business entities - anything you can think of will form an energetic component of itself.

    Another example similar to this are thoughtforms and what they contribute. As a case in point, let's look at Hitler. He had the mindset that a certain segment of the population was not fit to live. His mindset produced a thoughtform of exterminating that segment of the population. As he was able to convince one person at a time of his convictions, each of those persons also joined his thoughtform, then produced their own thoughtforms and the original thoughtform grew. Then groups of people attached to this thoughtform and then a nation. The thoughtform by this time was all encompassing. So the mass consciousness of this nation was tied together and linked by by this horrific, humongous thoughtform that, I would imagine, also contained malevolent relationship entities out the wazoo. The rest is history, and it took quite an effort to neutralize those energies.

    In my line of work, thru remote viewing, I can see actually thoughtforms in people's fields. They manifest in many sizes, shapes and colors

    It sounds as if the entity you spoke of in your piece was something other than a relationship entity. It sounds more like a helpful guide that was assisting the 2 of you in how to figure it all out:)

    In joy,

  • Neon1 Nov 07, 2010

    I often wonder about first impressions; what causes them, and whether they have a transpersonal element.

    What if there is a spiritual component to our “self” whose consciousness passes through a memory filter during early childhood causing amnesia regarding our many previous lives? If that were true (and I’m not suggesting that it is because it poses as many questions as it answers), then we might meet someone with whom we had a relationship in a previous lifetime. If that relationship was very powerful, whether positive or negative, our reaction could be very strong and immediate. Of course there could be other explanations for such immediate and visceral reactions, but this is one I seem to favor.

    Personally, I’ve found it more comfortable over the past several decades to go without wearing underwear. One of the advantages is that I notice the moisture of pre-cum (don’t know the medical term, sorry) against my leg even before my consciousness has received the impression of sexual attraction toward another person. For instance, the sexual tension between a girlfriend and myself aroused this subconscious reaction on numerous occasions and in the most pedestrian of circumstances. It was always a surprise to my consciousness and a curiosity to my mind to feel this moisture on my leg and try to trace it to something that she had done or had said. Rarely did there seem to be any obvious logical connection to the occurrence that I could perceive consciously, but sexual tension rarely seems logical and can switch off as quickly as it switched on.

    One of my mistakes with this particular relationship, I think, was to communicate this to her because she apparently didn’t have the capacity to appreciate that it was only one of the facets of our connection as far as I was concerned. Also, apparently, she did not become moist as often as I let on that I did, which made her question her own attraction toward me.

    Whenever this happens to me in casual circumstances, it provides me with an immediate “heads-up” and helps me to prepare for the eventual circumstances raised by the original question posted by inquisitivegirl above. Since I’m immediately “tuned in” I can then act with curiosity toward this person by being sensitive to every nuance of gesture and word she unconsciously produces. Since I am aware as both a participant and as a witness to my own participation in this situation, I can quickly ascertain the strength of my reaction, and whether or not she is aware of her own subconscious reaction, be it positive or negative. Thankfully, it is not in my nature to be either manipulative or exploitive toward others, because I would have a definite advantage in such situations.

    My own unique “warning system” doesn’t inoculate me from becoming a total fool in such situations, nor does it immunize me from becoming infected by feelings of love. But it does make the lessons I learn from such experiences more impressive.

  • RedDog Oct 31, 2010

    Consciousness is a double edged sword that cuts both ways. ;-)

  • Anonymous Icon

    Inquisitivegirl Oct 30, 2010

    Cameron- I heard about EDS for the first time only a few weeks ago. I wish you the best in maintaining your energy to deal with physical and emotional challenges you have to face. It sounds like a very difficult road that you are on, but as you say the difficulties produce chances to learn and grow.

    RedDog- Wise answer, thanks. I will work on acknowledging thoughts/ behavior that I might not even be conscious of.

  • RedDog Oct 30, 2010

    The short answer is yes. In my opinion, the very term tension implies a connection between two objects.
    If there is only one object the rope between does not exist, hence no tension. There may be people who
    react to what ever energy you are emitting, in a way which pulls them towards you, you then pull away
    and tension is created. Try to be more aware, like your shaman indicated, of what is coming out of your
    open mind.

  • cameronjcw Oct 29, 2010

    I've had a few realizations in the last few weeks regarding this kind of energy exchange or energy theft which is more like it and suddenly it really makes sense and I feel somewhat protected from it now. I just refuse to be treated like that, thats not what I'm here for. I have had a lot of fairly negative experiences in my life but I have learned from them and now know for myself how to deal with this kind of energy theft of course it may be different for other people!

    You should look into energy vampirism it might sound a bit insane but seriously it will probably make sense if you have experienced negative effects to your energy because of others negative energy and I hope that you can find ways of dealing with this because it really is so draining! Given the state of my physical health having Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and possible Chiari Malformation my energy be it physical, spiritual or otherwise is in shorter supply and I don't intend to use it or let anyone else use it for negative purposes. I believe that the life I have and the problems I have had to encounter are for a reason the same as I have met certain people for a reason! Sometimes negative or positive relationships but I have learned from both!! I do believe in the "laws of attraction" positive energy attracts positive energy and negative does attract negative. When you get stuck in a negativity rut it can be a hard rut to get out of especially when being so negative just attracts more negativity. Sure sometimes bad things do happen but I do believe that a big part of how that affects you is how you deal with it! Do you take it as negative and then continue the negativity cycle or do you take the negative and turn it into a positive experience and enhance your own positive energy and grow and evolve from that, if you know what I mean!

    All the best. (sorry for such a long post, had to split it up :o)

  • cameronjcw Oct 29, 2010

    I know sometimes for instance if you have family who can be like this its very hard because nobody wants to be estranged from their family! My mother has taken advantage and has been really nasty and not at all like you would expect a mother to act towards their daughter and recently I have basically cut contact with her and even when I do have any I refuse to let her affect me now and the same with others, some people want to suck you dry it seems of your energy which can leave you feeling very hurt, empty and as a result very negative yourself, when you have this kind of behaviour around you too much I think it seems to stick and get mixed up with your own energy and even if you are normally very positive it can still have serious effects on you and also result in serious health problems either physical, spiritual and/or mental. Despite this I refuse to allow people to upset me anymore, don't get me wrong it can still get me down but I can soon snap out of it because I realize now why I feel like this and it is because of other peoples negative energy or attitude when I feel like this but regardless of it being directed to me it is ultimately their problem and something they need to address on their own and not suck my energy to satisfy themselves!

    Basically energy vampires!!

  • cameronjcw Oct 29, 2010

    Yeah same here with the whole picking up on both positive and negative energy!

    As for the being to open I think I would describe that as more like "wearing your heart on your sleeve" kinda thing which does leave you open to people trying to take advantage but I don't think you should stop being that way to stop people trying to do things like that, by doing that you are more or less changing yourself because of others behaviour towards you. I only know because I have been the same and many times I have had my fingers burned and I have tried the whole "putting up a barrier" all that does is seem to isolate you more!?

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    Inquisitivegirl Oct 29, 2010

    RedDog..Is it impossible for sexual tension to be one sided? I have often wondered about that. And yes, I'm talking about in person.

    Cameron..I know how you feel, if I'm around negative people I feel like I'm being choked and degraded...I'm much too sensitive, and I'm trying to work on it. On the otherhand when I'm around truly positive people I can really feel the difference in their energy. And fakers...I can spot a mile away..lol. I have been told by a shaman and energy healer (still not sure how legit he was) that my mind was much too open, and could be easily taken advantage of or influenced by others. Perhaps he was right, but I have yet to learn how to put up better "barriers".

  • cameronjcw Oct 29, 2010

    IMO if there is sexual tension between two people the best thing you can do is deal with it and not try and ignore it however if its a one sided thing then maybe it is better to remove yourself from situations with that person if it does interfere like that or make you feel uncomfortable!

    I think the same goes for other feelings of tension or feeling uncomfortable with another person!

    Some people seem to emanate negative energy, while it may not be negative in the sense that it makes them a bad person or someone who is out to get you it may just be that the energy they are putting out is clashing with your own. I think you can just sense and pick up on some peoples energy whether negative or positive and some people are very finely tuned in this way to the point where they can pretty much read a person like a book!

    I think if the problem is only sexual tension coming from yourself, maybe you need some kind of release from this in order to move on, maybe the same for the other person or they may have predatory type tendencies that you are picking up on?

    I once ended up having a brief but very powerful fling with my tattoo guy lol I was going in getting tattoos for months and I really fancied this guy, not sure why but I was so attracted to him I actually felt these feelings must have been clear to him and IMO I think they were. I felt as if I must have been sending out very strong signals to him without really saying anything to that effect at all! It was definitely one of those situations where something had to be done. Our energy fields seemed to be tangoing like mad and physically it was actually driving me insane!!

    I have also had a few experiences where I have felt very uncomfortable around some people and just really couldn't stay around them it was so difficult I felt like my soul was being chocked or smothered in some way and actually felt quite ill round some people too.

    I think I definitely am very attuned to peoples energy fields in some way, don't know why but I just know it and can feel it!! I can usually get a fairly good sense of most people and tell whether they are taking the mickey, genuine, lying etc Its like some kind of weird intuition!

    I don't know if that helps you any but just my experiences and perspective of them and what they mean to me.

    All the best!

  • RedDog Oct 29, 2010

    It does not sound like you are making a comment about digital connections? Where your sexual identity can be hidden or changed?
    If you are a women, then you are wondering about the actions and reactions you illicit as a women from the opposite sex?
    I'm currently sitting in a bookstore, which is filled with books, that have various answers to that question.

    My wife, who is a psychotherapist is fond of reminding me that communication is a two party exchange at its core.
    Being more technically oriented, I had a tendency to view this through my filter, which tells me that any communication must
    have, at a minimum a sender and a reciever. Each has innate filters in place that change the pure aspect of the energy exchange
    known as communication. Language for example carries with it a sideband frequency, called body affect. Sometimes that emotionally charged
    sideband is so loud and overwhelming that the main message gets drowned out by....say....sexual tension.

    Try and be aware of what your sending in that sideband.

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